Happy Birthday Noah!!!!

Happy

2nd Birthday

Noah

You are EVERYTHING we could ever wish for! The past TWO years have been such a blessing and have gone by way too quickly! You are such a precious little boy! You are so many things: sweet, smart, handsome, funny, strong willed, strong as an ox, loving, and most of all you are all ours!!!! We love you TWO year old boy!!!! Happy Birthday!!!

Moments

The Lord has really been stirring in me lately! I am very thankful to have my relationship with God. I am especially thankful for His grace and His gift of everlasting life!!

 I have always been the kind of person that tries to sit in the moments of life and really soak them in! I started this at a young age. After losing two very close friends in high school I found myself doing this even more so! I would take mental pictures of moments in time and try to make sure to keep them in my mental photo album.

I can remember one particular time doing this. It was late at night and my momma had fallen asleep in her room while watching television. I was up late as most teenagers listening to music and was about to go to bed when I heard her tv still on. I went in to turn it off for her. I looked over and saw my sweet momma sleeping and made one of my first mental pictures. I just sat there and thanked God for my mother! For the moments I get to spend with her and gave her a kiss on her forehead. I have never told her this!

 I realize that life is short and most often than not we end up looking back on our lives and wonder what we could have done differently or done more of. I am sometimes consumed by this and always wanting to not have many regrets or missed opportunities. And I am in no way perfect and have my fair share of regrets and missed opportunities, but I am trying to make sure I remember what is most important.

You know when you get caught up in the day to day things. Doing laundry over and over again (does it really ever end?) or rushing around getting Noah ready for swim class and then just when we are about the door he poops and I have to start all over with swimmer diapers and etc. It is in those moments that I have to stop! Literally stop myself and drink in the moment. Take it in because trust me moments are fleeting!!

 In 7 short days my baby will be 2 years old!!! I know some ppl have teenagers and think that 2 is still young, but TWO.....where did the time go?? Just like my mommma said it flies faster the older you get. And I guess I am still trying to remember to slow it down and enjoy each moment for as long as that season lasts.

Of course, there is always something we could find to complain about in our lives. But I am sure that when I am older that I will wish for these times back. For the chance to rock Noah to sleep or have him always want me right near him.

 So I not only challenge myself to continue to take time to soak in each and every moment, but I challenge you as well!!



Here are some of my moments :)

For it is the totality of all of these moments that make us who we are :)

Kelly's Korner Link Up

Hi! I am linking up today with Kelly's Korner!

This is how you will find me most days! Glasses on, hair up, and outside enjoying the nice weather with my amazing almost 2 year old son!

I am a SAHM to this super cute toddler!! Noah

And married to this super cute hubster :) (for 7 years)

We live in South GA, around an hour south of ATL! I am always looking for new friends in the same season of life as us! So leave a comment and check out my blog :) Thanks for stopping by!!!

Where does my help come from, my help comes from the LORD!!!!

Though the fig tree should not blossom And there be no fruit on the vines, Though the yield of the olive should fail And the fields produce no food, Though the flock should be cut off from the fold And there be no cattle in the stalls, Yet I will exult in the Lord, I will rejoice in the God of my salvation. http://bible.us/Hab3.17.NASB

 

What's on my heart!

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Phillippians 4: 6-7

It has been so hard to write lately! And writing is my therapy, but every time I opened up a new blog post I just couldn't find the words. My emotions were there, but the words would not come. I have been having a really difficult time lately. Well, in all honesty for a while. My depression/anxiety has always been around, but lately it has been worse.

You see Todd and I would love to have another child. We would love to just mark our calendars and be able to plan another little bundle of joy. However, we cannot. We have to see doctors and do testing and I have to take meds and etc. Y'all know the story of Noah! So with that in mind, lets just say my mind and heart have been a bit scrambled up with emotions and fears!!!

I honestly thought that when I got pg with Noah that all of the baggage that came with IF (infertility) was magically taken away. I have found out that it has not and is currently residing right here. How did I miss all of that baggage? It has hit me like a ton of bricks and I am not even sure how to deal with it all. I dealt with IF before and thought I was good, I guess I should have realized it would be an ongoing project.

So each day I am home with Noah and I beat myself up! I am really hard on myself! I have lots of negative thoughts, which I am really trying to stop. I tell myself awful things like I am a bad momma, a loser, ugly, fat, and worthless!! I spend a lot of energy doing this and it has to stop. I just need to learn how to stop it. I have seen a counselor and that has helped some. Also, we have attended a new church that is very family oriented and I am psyched to see what God has in store for our family!!!

I am also struggling because there are NO stay at home mommas around my area. Most of the mommas work atleast part time. It stinks because I feel really isolated!!! I have googled MDO (Mother's Day Out) Programs in my area and come up with NONE!!! I just reached out on fb to see if anyone could recommend one, so I am hoping that works!! I really want Noah to be around other kids his age, plus two mornings a week could do this girl some good!

I know the Lord is working hard on me!! Even when i pull away from Him, He always lets His presence be known! I am so thankful to have such a loving Lord. I am working on giving up control and let the Lord mold me into His vision. Please send up some prayers for our family! We would greatly appreciate them!!!

Love y'all!!!

 

Table for ONE!

There's been alot on my heart these days. One thing is that I often feel lonely. Yes, lonely! And let me explain a bit more. Ya see in my neck of the woods there's not many (if any) stay at home mommas. Especially with this horrible economy, most mommas work atleast part time around here. And with Todd's work schedule I can feel lonely sometimes.

I of course have this awesome little buddy to keep me company, but I feel like I am slighting him in some way for not being more social. Swim lessons have started back up and I am super glad that we atleast have that to get out and socialize. However, there is only one other child in the class and they are debating canceling the class b/c it is just two kids :( Hoping that they will not.

Please don't think I don't have family or friends to hang with, it is just that my family is busy...and most of my friends live far away from me. I see so many ppl that are constantly going places together and doing fun activities and I wonder what the heck is wrong with me. Why am I not out there with those ppl? I have tried to reconnect with highschool friends, but it seems like I just bug them. They are busy with their lives. And I totally understand that.

I have to say I have been super blessed to have the best friend/neighbor ever!!! She is super busy too, but I cherish the times we get to sit in the driveway and chat while the kids, scratch that, her kids play...while Noah sits in my lap! He is very shy!! But it would just be my luck that they may be moving soon :( I swear that always happens! BOOO!!!

There are days that I am okay with how things are, but today I am a bit bummed about it. I really wish I had a circle of friends that were in the same season of life as I am. Girlfriends that I could discuss teething with, new trends, potty training, etc. Also, I know Todd needs a circle of guy friends too!! You know it takes a village!! That is soo true!!

I am so frustrated with myself right now!! What is wrong with me??

I am really praying that God gives me peace on this matter :) If y'all have a chance please send up some prayers for me as well! I would greatly appreciate it!!

Fedora Loving!

 He never ceases to amaze me with his cuteness!!!

 

And yes I realize the Fedora is too big for him! This summer it will come in handy when we are out in the sun and I don't want him to get so much sun on his sweet lil head :)